The Wheel Turns
September 1999
One year
later
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The Wheel Turns September 1999 |
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Last summer, when I was writing the Sheela na Gig article for Sagewoman, Cinnabar would get mad at me for spending so much time on the computer. She'd come and stand in the doorway to the office and glare at me. She wouldn't let up until I'd stop writing and come hang out with her, preferably outside, preferably on the beach - where I'd sit on the shore and try to relax my mind and switch out of writing mode. I'd open my heart to the water and be glad she had pulled me away. I'd watch her wade and blow bubbles and herd the fish and remember there's more to life than the words on the screen.
But that was on the good days. Too many times I'd just say "soon" until she'd huff off, disgusted with me. She didn't care about my deadlines.
Three days after I mailed off the article to Sagewoman, Cinnabar started dying. She forced me to test all my theories about Síla as the gateway between the worlds, all the stuff I'd gone on and on about in the article. (Or, as I put it at the time, mad with guilt and grief, All my goddamn stupid fucking theories.) I felt horribly, horribly guilty that I hadn't spent more time with her. I was appalled that I had been saying "soon. soon." while, unbeknownst to supposedly oh-so-psychic-me, she was dying.
But, in that terrible but shockingly spiritual way, it seems she did care about my deadline after all. She held off on starting to die until I was all done with the article and on my promised "vacation." With no more distractions, no more excuses, she gave me the dreadful opportunity to actually test what I'd been talking about. She taught me more about death and rebirth and geasa and loyalty than anything I've gone through in this lifetime.
She has taught me (with a level of certainty that I used to only think I had) that the soul continues after the death of these bodies. There is only the death of the body. The spirit goes on. We really are eternal.
So when I started formatting and updating the Sheela article for the web, once again I was spending way too much time in front of the computer for someone's taste. I would hear a little whine and look up to see Sheena Cinnabar standing in the doorway, saying, Enough already, let's go play. She never did that before this project. And imagine my surprise when she brought me this....
Síla na Géige - Sheela na Gig and Sacred Space
copyright ©1999 kathryn price nicdhanà (formerly k.p. theatana)